Think what you are thinking about…

Picture for Blog 4

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “For Posterity.”

Being a first-born, Type A personality and always wanting to be the very best person I can possibly be by  hitting the “MARK”, the bull’s-eye 100% of the time, I would tell future generations to not take life so seriously. DO NOT FEAR. Stop and enjoy the moments, the days that accumulate into years and then a life time.

Often I have thought that if I can take full responsibility of each and every incident that took place in my life, I could somehow control it and make a good outcome always. By good outcome I mean no disappointments, no sadness, no tears.

Have we not heard for years, “that everything happens for a reason?”. “Your life is your thoughts expressed?”. Then simple, control your mind, will and emotions and you will be pooping butterflies, riding your unicorn to work or school everyday on the rainbow of life, right?

So as life happened at the age of twelve for me, while at Disneyland on December 26th 1977, my father that was to meet my mom, brother and I at the clock tower on Main Street USA at 3:00pm never showed up! At 4:30pm we left and headed home to find him moved out. Living in Southern California my entire life, up to that point, I had experienced a lot of earthquakes, but NOTHING shook and rocked my world bigger than seeing his side of the closet completely emptied out, not even an empty hanger left. This was to be my first experience with the feelings of abandonment, hopelessness, fear and complete disappointment.

As best as I can recollect, this was the beginning of my over indulgence in trying to figure out and control life, so I would never have to experience, or cause someone to experience, these kind of traumatic feelings and emotions ever again.

My journey has taken me through some very lonely dark times and some very rewarding experiences, all the while my RPM’s were ramped out.

On June 2nd, 2013, after days of being held against my will, I fled a 25 year marriage that was very unhealthy, and this is when my life started to take a drastic much-needed change. Although I am still told often to “have patience”, “slow down”, I feel like I am at a snail’s pace in life for the first time since 12/26/77. I am learning to live life-like I would recommend others in future generations to live.

Everything does happen for a reason, and most often we do not know and never will know why, but that’s OKAY! And our thoughts do become our actions, so we need to be mindful of what we are thinking about and meditating on.

My biggest fear was to be lied to, deceived, abandoned, feeling hopeless and out of control. Guess what? After a 25 year marriage, I sit here patiently today waiting for the United States Department of Justice to convict a man for stealing my identity and my inheritance, because my signature was forged for criminal intentions. On June 14th, 2013 everything was seized and frozen by the US Attorneys Office. Bank account emptied without any warning, cars, boat, RV, trailer and anything else you can think of was gone. I thank GOD, I was given back my home and my daughter given back her vehicle, (February 2014) the forensics and handwriting analysis done by the U.S. Government, proved mine and my daughters innocence.

As I await to get my good name and reputation back, I am learning how to be still and know that He is God and that what was meant for harm, will be turned to good and bring God glory. I am learning that what you fear most will manifest itself, because our thoughts become our actions which turns out to be our life.

So for posterity, think about what you are thinking about, meditate on that which is good, slow down and enjoy the moments of each day they soon will add up to what you will reference as your life.

God bless you abundantly my friends!

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